So basically I'm not in relationship anymore. Yes I gave up the previous relationship, is a big step to overcome a lot of problems especially family. So if you know me well, my parents super in love with him more than I do. I feel that is quite unfair most of the time when my parents dote him so much that in the end they got hurt instead of me got hurt for the relationship.
Basically I don't feel upset at all. You may say I'm cruel or so whatever, I am only upset when I see how my parents got so upset. They will blame me for giving up such a great guy on earth. And they also blame so much hate on the other guy which not his fault at all. Yes they had so much hate on him which they hold on it so much.
I come from a perfect family, everything has be so perfect so beautiful. No quarrels and everyone is so loving with each other. We can't have or make any mistake in our family names. I seriously can say throw their faces due to this problem? Even we have to lies to our relatives said about my relationship?
Here I am being alone not in relationship and that guy had a new girlfriend and living so happily ever after with the other girl. I should say congrats to them. Leaving me, you can get to go oversea with your girl and etc. Not say I jealous or what, is just that because of you, me and my family relationship got a scar on it. I can never really be happy ever again
I'm crying almost every time when I think about my mother. Everyone will push the blame on me when my mother got depression, getting skinnier and looking pale. I really not sure what I should do. Going back to the past? No. I don't want. Really very tiring living in the past.
I have to act happy when I'm in the house when I actually not happy. I have to becareful whenever I say anything? The only thing I can do is to work at home. Make myself busy promoting my shop. pack stocks, check stocks and etc.
Whenever I say I go out with my poly friends, my mother will give that face to me?! What's wrong! I can't hate my parents. I cherish their efforts for bringing me up, give me allowances, give me go to school. Buy me this and that. And I have not repay them. I didn't do well in studies. I'm no sure where my future job will be. I basically lousy in almost everything. Unlike my sister being so successful in everything from the start when she works hard.
Is not that I never work hard, I did my best to do everything that I should do. I actually consider did well for my O's and just because of my English which redirect me to another path to my future. I did my best in ITE which I manage to score 3.24, though is not high but at least above GPA 3.0
After P6, I told myself to study harder. Till O's, I got myself all B3 and C5 for humanities and E8 for English. Just because all average, never get a A's so I tell myself to do well in ITE. So after ITE, I manage to go to Poly. Got myself some modules for A's and Distinction. I really really work hard already. But nobody knows at all.
Now here I am having my intern which I face a lot of problems with so much error, I'm not too sure what should I do. I trying my best to work harder now. I shall proof that I can do it too, I have to do it to make a better future.
