心中的谜底不能解开。

If you know chinese, you should understand what is my title about. Currently feeling quite down. Is super duper down.

No friends I can really ask out. Everyone has their own partner to share all their feelings. What about me ? If you know me well, I bet you should know what a person I am.

I'm always alone. Though I have a boyfriend, but I don't really tell him my feelings at all. So you will say me why do I still need a boyfriend for ? Hmm. Okay.

I also don't understand why I have such a deep feeling in my heart. All the ones I cherish, all leaving me.

For example, HS.
During secondary school days, we are quite close with each other. But ever since secondary 3 or so, we are not really as close as what we were. Or maybe from the start we were not close at all ? Though we were in the same class for 5 years. Everything were so different day by day. The ones she knows actually I'm not really close to. So I told myself, since is like that, might as well I leave. I chose to be alone rather than ...... Okay, but I did treat her as my close friend ever which I really put in feelings in the friendship. I cried when things were different. I cried so hard. One thing that she dislike is that I keep say Sorry. She said, once things had done nothing can change it, so what sorry can do about ? Ever since that sentence keep appear in my mind, I don't know what to do or say. But is over now, she is still my friend and she also have great friends with her. But for me? I'm still the stupid me. We went through up and down together during 2006. Which I can't forget about it in my whole entire life. But overall thank you for being my friend, no matter what happen, you can make through it. Thanks:)

Next, will be Ohbasan.
We talk, we share since secondary 3 onwards. I like to with her as I think she the one that I can really be myself. No matter what situation, I just tell her every single thing. She can help, she help. She is a smart kid better than me. No matter we are in different school, different level of education, I still will contact her. But worst come to worst that I can cry is that she is going to leave Singapore and study aboard. Which makes me cry so hard. Even now, I'm crying as well. I can't believe we will be in different countries, but technology quite high tech now, I still can contact her through many ways. But the feeling is so different when meet in real life and chat with a mobile device. But no matter what, I still need to carry on. I hope she will be back in Singapore when I have my own Big Event. That's my only wish. :) all the best ohbasan. I know you can do it in your way. Of cause I did cherish every single day with you now. But also don't forget our lunch/dinner at Korean BBQ! :)

Yes, and of cause the ladies that I met during my ITE days.
You know who you are. Though i didn't really ask you all how crazy or bad during these past 2 years, but I think I did a bad job being a friend. Though we all have our own friends before that. But you all still manage to gather together as one and have a outing. We as a team, We made through the difficulties. I don't know you guys know when OPR left this school, I'm really really down. Both sy are together. As myself, I can't get it in the same topic as you all. I tried my best to join in, and I hope I did ? But I'm not sure. Things that makes me happy when the 3 of us had our dinner together. & also I love the 5ladies outing. Can I have one more again ? Worst of me should be you all have to hear me say SHINee and Jonghyun right? I bet you all are sick and tired if it. I think back, I think that I'm quite annoying. But thank you for tolerate me for these 2 years. Sometimes I'm jealous that both sy can be so good together, they go out, they go watch movie, they can do many things together as 2. Quite envy you guys. Can also share everything together too. You both give me a good impression being good friends together :) thanks to the 4 ladies that I met. You all really make my day and of cause make me cry too. I'm so touch. Thanks. :) all of us are in different direction path now. I hope 5 of us still can gather together and go out as one. :)

Of cause my primary school friends as well. I love gathering with you all. Hopefully we will have another one this year :)

I cried not because of relationship. Is because of friendship. Friends come and friends leave. I have gone through quite a few of it. Which really makes me so down. Whenever I see outside having a group gathering. I envy those people. They can happily together. But for me ? I only can be together as 1 friend or not more than 4 or 5.

Fuuuuuu, after typing it out. I feel much better. After crying so badly, I really feel that I also have my own great memories together with all my great friends I have.

Also friends that I know through Kpop. Some really hurts me, but some I really cherish it a lot. But overall, I still have a great memories in my heart and mind. I don't wish to have anything happen. And I thank you for being my friend in these 2 years. I wish we will continue the friendship till the end of the world :)

Okay, I'm overall happy now. Can't wait to see what's my future friends are. I don't wish to be alone again anymore.