Happy New Year Eve :D

Peace for everyone and smile happily like them :) 

Today is New Year Eve, 31 Dec 2012. This is how I spend my last day of 2012. Staying at home the whole day doing nothing. When I'm so envy others can go out and celebrate with the their friends or love ones. But I can't.

Day have to move on no matter today is the last day or what. So why do I spend it so lonely and sad ? I shall do something happy right ? I use to be a cheerful girl, with no worries at all. But now everything seems so difficult to handle. Maybe actually is easy to handle, I make it so complicated.

I feel like a burden to my family, my friends. I don't seems happy. WHY?? T_____T

Tears starting to be at my tip of my eyes.

Okay, I shall not think anymore. Be a happy girl to end a good 2012.

Looking at your smile, I feel so happy. If only I can hug you..... Please let me continue to like you. No others can replace the smile..... You look so charming when you do a peace sign. Really so charming that I can't..... Really great that I still like you, but I'm trying not to touch any news about you. I don't think I can do it too.

Last year I also did a post about you. This year still the same. Hoping to see you again.

Had dinner at Paradise Dynasty(Woodlands) with my parents and sister yesterday!

Watch CZ2012 with Him :D Awesome movie but with lousy ticket :X

Alright, hope myself, all my family members, my relatives and my friends around me to be happy everyday. YES EVERYDAY! :) 

Overall 2012, a BIG Changes within 1 year.

The 4 pretty ladies, when will I able to see you all again ?

Today is the second last day of the year. I'm staying at home the whole day doing my project. What is life about ? Because I have played so much during the starting of the holiday, end up I have to rush for my projects. Ohno! But that period was my Birthday week >< So I gave myself a week break! LOL! So have to blame myself for being so playful. 

Why do we have to project or work during the holiday? Is so irritating!!! Cannot play and watch drama! But then, whatever it is, I still play and watch drama daily with no fail. LOL! Hahaha. 

Okay, shall stop my ranting and say something good ^^

Let summaries my 2012 before it ending in less than 48 hours. OMG!!! 

January 2012: Nothing much but is Chinese new year month ^^ Days in ITE is going to end in 2 months.

February 2012: SS4 in Singapore, I didn't go. But 25th Feb 2012 is Boyfriend and SISTAR arrival day! I went to Changi Airport :D and chasing with Amelia. so 26th Feb 2012 is their fanmeet at suntec :D

March 2012: OPR & Aijia Birthday :D and ITE days ended here. Went to class chalet on 20th March :) 22nd March is SHINee Sherlock COMEBACK STAGE :D :D 23rd March is SECRET BAP Fanmeet @ IMM :D I did went!! Kekeke. 26th March went SENTOSA with ITE Clique!!!

April 2012: Starting of my Poly Year 1 Life. :O 8th April, precious boy KJH birthday~ ^^*
9th April is Orientation day!! FREE LUNCH! LOL! 16th April Officially POLY 1st DAY!!!! 17th April is daddy Birthday :D

May 2012: Nothing much happen. LOL! Esther 21st Birthday celebration :D

June 2012: Ohbasan Birthday :D Boys Night Out Concert!!!!!! SHINee, Teentop, B1A4 and etc! Kekeke.

July 2012: Suyi & Synyee Birthday :D

August 2012: HCL Birthday :D Anniversary~ USS With HCL :D Bought SHINee World II Concert Ticket!

September 2012: Joseph 21st Celebration :D Ohbasan went to USA on 18 Sep 2012.

October 2012: Buddy Birthday :D Celebrate with buddy on 9th Oct :D Xw 21st Birthday celebration :D

November 2012: Outing with my K-ladies :D Joey 21st Birthday Celebration :D SMTOWN CONCERT ON 23rd NOV!!!!!!

December 2012: SHINee World II Concert on 8th Dec !!!! :D Celebrate Birthday with HCL, Buddy, ITE Cliques, K-Ladies and Poly classmates♥♥♥♥♥♥

Really happy to know my new classmates/friends in Poly. Though some of us have conflict internally and some comparisons among each other. But overall, really great to spend my days in school happily :) Not everyone like each other or maybe should say we don't really know each other in the first place but we still manage to work together and say jokes together in class. 

26122012 ; A night with C & A ♥

I spent my yesterday night with my NSS ladies :D We've been so long we didn't met each other. Miss this both ladies so much! kekeke. Talking about our past, we laughed! Really miss the days when we everyday can see each other in class/school and talking about studies and etc. But now both of them are going to University soon. When I'm still in Poly Year 1 now. Time pass super fast. Really happy to know them for more than 5 years. Hope they are doing great for their future! All the best ladies, you all are smart kids! See you all soon again ♥

* Both of them slim down a lot. I also wish I can slim down too! Hwaiting *

♥ Clarinda ♥ Aisah ♥ Camay ^^v

23RD DEC CHRISTMAS PARTY :D

We will belong together and known as Family. 

Well, since I'm free, lets blog something ^^ Start from Last Sunday ? Which is 23rd Dec. Kekeke. Went out around 3pm. Cousin and her bf came to fetch me. It was raining so heavily when I was about to go out. What a bad timing to rain. Tsk! Haha. So went all the way to Boonlay to fetch Kelly and her sister. After that went all the way to Hougang. But first, we accompany Kelly to check her toe. Something happen to her toe, which I don't know why her toe can stuck in the wheel of the scooter. So that moment I was so freaking hungry that I almost want to die. LOL!

Lucky time pass fast, finally can go to Mark Cousin house :D OMG! Actually I should say I have been a long time I met Kelly. Actually I do miss her too. Shall need to dig out some pictures from the past. Need to go find too. LOL! This picture was like 2010 ? She looks taller and had short hair now :D Still looks pretty too. Kekeke.

Last time years ago... When she is only less than 4 ? 

And then I met Candace too :D :D Lil cutie! Kekeke. She knows how to walk already. 2-3 months ago, she is still learning how to climb or maybe should say learning how to walk. Now successfully know how to walk clumsy LOL!!! LOL! So excited and so cool. Looking at a baby knowing her grown up process. OMG! So wonderful. 

BABY CANDACE YOU ARE SO FREAKING KE AI! WO AI NI!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS :D

Thankyou K-ladies♥

Thankyou Aijia, Angela, Amelia.P, Amelia.C, Maggie ♥_♥

You guys really daebak! Surprise me until I was so shocked!!!! LOL! I know you all spend a lot on my birthday! I will prepare something special for you all next year :D Kekeke. Although I can't stay together with you, but I manage to wake up and find you all! You all look so tired the next year! Awesome 19&20th Dec 2012. Love you ladiessss! I didn't know that you all will book the hotel. OMG!!!

All I want is $$$$$$

My perfect dream guy. 

School starting real soon. 2013 is arriving real soon. I'm still slacking in my own world, doing nothing but keep using computer, itouch, phone all day. Keep going out without fail too. What am I doing ? Why can't I just concentrate on studies. If one day I can just concentrate and just focus on studies, how good it is, But I can't. 

Why can others be so successful in their life ? is it because they work hard ? as long as we work hard we sure can success ? is that the right way ? I feel like trying. yes, the key word is Feel. but doesn't make an effort to do the action. All I know is to say but didn't do it. You can see how lazy I am. 

I have set my mind set. I will stop myself for buying merchandise, albums(which is too difficult) and going for concerts/showcase/fanmeet. I did success that I didn't went for Boyfriend showcase next year March. Hope I don't regret and I think I won't. Thinking about my bank account used to have how much money till now I left how much money, my heart bleed. Seriously, I will try to control myself not to spend so much. I can do it last time, so I can do it the same too for now. 

I can feel the pain now. Wasting all my money on these. Especially I spend more than 1000+ on idols. They are rich, but I'm broke. Just like people go for drinking/movies/entertainment and etc. I spend on idols. Hais. Use to be happy to see them. But will they remember us ? Will they contact us ? No. Thats all I know is I know them but they don't know me. Hais. 

Giving up is so difficult. Liking them is so easy ? Supporting them is more worst. They get to have so many many many branded stuffs. But I doesn't have at all. So having this kind of mind set don't know is healthy or unhealthy. Looking at Ohbasan giving up on idols I also wish I can do it too. 

I doesn't work but where does all these money came from? All my savings T___T. 

Shall rant next time. Happy to receive my 1st Pororo soft toy from buddy! So cute!!! My bed is full of soft toy now! Kekeke. Later no space for me to sleep. LOL! 

Ohbasan, I miss you!!! I miss going out with you!! T___T 

Christmas is near the corner, i wish everyone advance Merry Christmas :D

I found out that my mother don't really trust me anymore after 7 Dec 2012.
She can check on me every single minute where I am and what I'm doing. Why ?

Is it because that time I went to stadium and she thinks I'm staying over ?

Why? why must always listen to them ? Why can't I go out late with friends ?
Why can't I have guy friend ? So what if I have boyfriend and I can't have guy friend anymore ?
Why must you hold me so tight and check on me every single minute ?
Why you don't trust me anymore ?

Why after you saw that video you totally don't believe me......
Why am I feeling so disappointed in myself.
I know I'm stupid, useless, not as clever as the rest. Why?

Why do I always cry when I'm so hurtful.
Why others can go oversea when I can't go at all.
Why does my mother treat my boyfriend so good till he listens to you always.

I dislike being control. I dislike being control until even choosing friend also need your permission.

Thankyou Everyone!

Thankyou everyone who celebrate my birthday this year. I receive many many gifts and wishes from all my friends! Thankyou so much! I'm really happy that you guys are with me. Make an effort to plan / buy gifts for me. I'm really really glad that you all are in my life. Without you all I bet I won't be that happy at all. ^^ Thankyou <3 I really have a wonderful 20th Birthday in 2012.

One day before my 20th birthday :D

I miss you. 

Hi everyone, who is reading this blog again ?! I'm here to update a while before is the actual day of my 20th Birthday! Can I say is that I'm really happy this year? I manage to celebrate with my boy, my buddy, my ahong, of cause not forgetting my Ohbasan❤ ‏

Let's start about saying on 14th Dec. Went to boy house and he covered my eyes. End up I walked towards the table and he let go, I saw a birthday cake, winnie the pooh & a card on the table ^^ OMG! Happy!! I didn't know that he will prepare all these for me! For the 7th years, this is the first surprise that I receive from him! Like seriously, he always fail to surprise me. No matter how, he success for this time ^^ My present from him ❤

Of cause I receive present from oversea too :D From my Ohbasan!!!! :D :D I didn't know that she will send me present from USA! I'm really shock! :D Really happy to receive so many jonghyun faces as well! LOL! And not forgetting the card she wrote to me ! Happy advance Christmas + New Year!! LOL! Thankyou so much Ohbasan❤

Hehehe! Now is my buddy turn! My Buddy prepare/plan the day for me on 15 Dec 2012! So happy that we went out the whole day w/o wasting any of our time. :D We met in the morning and surprise me with a birthday! And is Doraemon!!! Breakfast for birthday cake and ended up he so full until didn't had his lunch. Went to watch cartoon movie again. Realize we always watch Cartoon Movie! LOL! We look so kiddy :P LOL! After movie, we went to singK! Spend $10 for the card & $8 to sing for 3 hours. :D And slack awhile to wait for dinner! He didn't had much because he is too bloated T___T Poor buddy! Hope he get well soon! Thanks Buddy for the birthday celebration + expensive dinner + presents❤

Thankyou so much to everyone who celebrate my 20th Birthday with me! And gave me so much presents and memories. I really happy to have you guys staying beside me loving me. Love you people!

Handmade with love.

Twelve cupcakes are nice :D 

Is the 4th week of the Semester.I still have not start to revise my work and a lot of things. What should I do ? Looking at others, they have already started revising since week 1. ohmy. what am I doing now ? Still blogging. LOL! When i want to feel like revising my work, I will feel dizzy, headache and many sickness problem coming out -.-

16 more days to SMTOWN. I can't wait for the day to arrive so that I can see my precious boy again for the 5th time ? Hmmmmmm, hopefully I can see him again. Yes pray hard for me. 

I'm not sure what happen to my buddy! Hmmmm, if only he can tell me..... 

Last Day of October 2012

You are really pretty ; I love you. 

Testing. Today is the last day of October 2012. I have to at least blog once a month ^^ I have not seen the lady above for months already. When are you coming to Singapore again? I really want to see you and other members too! Please come to Singapore soon alright? I really look forward. Please do not forget your fans in Singapore :)

Currently listening to all old Jay Chou songs. His songs are really daebak(good/thumb up!). No matter how long / old the song is, I will confirm listen to it. It reminds the days during secondary 1 ? LOL! I still remember when we were on our way back to school from swimming lesson, I will put the disc to the discman.(WTH, that time disc man really famous). LOL!! Then upgrade to MP3. Slowly slowly, I found the upgrading of the things I have. Seriously is like.... WOW!

Ohbasan has went to USA for a a month plus. Of cause I miss her. Really. I miss the days we go out. Miss the days that we so bo liao until go watch movie and meet together. Still remember the days in secondary school time. Suddenly we are so close together. Hahaha. Thank god that she is my friend :) Hope you are doing well there. Lucky we can facetime / kkt / twitter / whatsapp each other :')

This month on the 5th, I bought my Nikon P510 camera($679). On 26th, I bought Galaxy Note II ^^

Bankrupt luhhhhh! Sian :'( Shall go watch running man before I settle my stuffs :(

Goodbye October. I will be looking forward to SMTOWN & SWC II Concert :D

23 Days to SMTOWN.
8 Dec for SWC II!!!!

My thoughts for today.

Your stare kills me. 

Is the mid of September. I'm starting to feel like blogging today. Because I feel so lil upset, angry and many many stuffs. I'm not sure who is reading this post now. Maybe is an unknown or maybe is someone I know, I'm not sure. But never mind, overall is a public blog for me to rant my thoughts here. 

I'm not sure whether why do I have this feeling inside my mind. You asked me whether will I angry when I see the pictures and words from all of you. Actually frankly speaking, I'm a lil envy. I envy that you guys can every week(almost everyday) meet together and have fun. But I do not have. Is so difficult to maintain a group of friends together and go out and have fun. It doesn't happen to me. Maybe life is not perfect at all. You can't have everything going so smoothly all the time. All I said should be like this ? If you have a good love relationship, you will get a bad friendship. If you have a group of friends getting together and does not have an good relationship. That's all I chanting to myself. I know I doesn't have a good friendship in my life, but I know that silly guy will continue to relationship with me. 

I don't think I'm a good girlfriend or being a friend. I'm so boyish, I'm so ugly, fat, short, rubbish all of it. and of cause i'm straightforward. What I dislike I will just say it without thinking a lot. That is the problem friends don't accept it. I can't change. This is me. You like or don't like I can't control. I do not why that silly guy still can accept who am I now. & I really need to thank him for letting me scold, beat, love, miss him so much. I don't hide being who I am. I show ever single bad/good habit in front of him. I don't know why there is a need to hide all these. I don't get it. We have been together for 7 years. Yes is 7 years & going to 7 years & 1 month soon. We have not really spend a lot of time together like other couples do. When I see other couples holding hand, hugging, kissing, close with each other, I'm kinda of envy again. My boyfriend doesn't do such things in public or even indoor. He is not a romantic guy. He goes law by law. You ask him do what he will do it straight...... I can find all his negative points. Asking me to list 10 good points of him, I think is more than enough. 1 sweet point of him is, he can everyday sends me a goodnight message without fail for 7 years. This point touches me a lot. I think no guys can do it, I'm not sure, maybe have? Though we have not speak on the phone for years or sms each other every single second. But he will send 1 message before 12am to me. I didn't even send any message to him at all. You can see how bad I am... We gave each other too much freedom. Is it bad or good? I'm not sure. 

Thinking that tomorrow is the day to get my 1st GPA / Result in my poly life. A lil not high expectation on it. Because the more you expect it to happen, the more sad moments you will get. So I just wish that I can get at least over the passing grade. My parents will not feel proud of my results at all. They only will feel proud for my sis. My sis is so much clever, smarter and hardworking than I did. All I did was slack around, went to Normal(A) and ITE. Which they have already gave up on me. I studied things about computer, but I can't fix a computer. You ask me to reformat the computer I also don't even know how. You will think I'm stupid right? so simple thing I also don't know how to do. But is the fact. I so call already don't have high hope on anything anymore. I'm so disappoint on myself. I don't dare to tell my parents my results too. 

Hais..... Tomorrow is the day that my closest friend(Ohbasan) is leaving to USA. I'm not sure who to look for in Singapore already. She is the only friend that I can look for. I feel that she is the best and of cause feel much closer than my own real life Sister. I will defiantly miss her a lot a lot.  Ohbasan, I do not know how you think/feel, but I want to tell you, All the best in your future studies and don't silly silly drive to other countries. You can come find me anytime, I will confirm reply you asap. Ohbasan, jiayou! *many loves* 

I shall stop here now. Tomorrow is an important day. All the best to me.