All I want is $$$$$$

My perfect dream guy. 

School starting real soon. 2013 is arriving real soon. I'm still slacking in my own world, doing nothing but keep using computer, itouch, phone all day. Keep going out without fail too. What am I doing ? Why can't I just concentrate on studies. If one day I can just concentrate and just focus on studies, how good it is, But I can't. 

Why can others be so successful in their life ? is it because they work hard ? as long as we work hard we sure can success ? is that the right way ? I feel like trying. yes, the key word is Feel. but doesn't make an effort to do the action. All I know is to say but didn't do it. You can see how lazy I am. 

I have set my mind set. I will stop myself for buying merchandise, albums(which is too difficult) and going for concerts/showcase/fanmeet. I did success that I didn't went for Boyfriend showcase next year March. Hope I don't regret and I think I won't. Thinking about my bank account used to have how much money till now I left how much money, my heart bleed. Seriously, I will try to control myself not to spend so much. I can do it last time, so I can do it the same too for now. 

I can feel the pain now. Wasting all my money on these. Especially I spend more than 1000+ on idols. They are rich, but I'm broke. Just like people go for drinking/movies/entertainment and etc. I spend on idols. Hais. Use to be happy to see them. But will they remember us ? Will they contact us ? No. Thats all I know is I know them but they don't know me. Hais. 

Giving up is so difficult. Liking them is so easy ? Supporting them is more worst. They get to have so many many many branded stuffs. But I doesn't have at all. So having this kind of mind set don't know is healthy or unhealthy. Looking at Ohbasan giving up on idols I also wish I can do it too. 

I doesn't work but where does all these money came from? All my savings T___T. 

Shall rant next time. Happy to receive my 1st Pororo soft toy from buddy! So cute!!! My bed is full of soft toy now! Kekeke. Later no space for me to sleep. LOL! 

Ohbasan, I miss you!!! I miss going out with you!! T___T 

Christmas is near the corner, i wish everyone advance Merry Christmas :D