You don't know how much I miss you.

I know I miss you a lot. I know I wish to see you again and again like no ending. I know you're the best. 

I will smile everyday and look at you. Looking at you, looking at the photos, I really can feel the love and happiness ^^

Feeling cold

Woooo~ feeling so cold now.

Though I'm at home but I doesn't feel like talking much today. I just want to be silent for a moment. I don't feel like staying at home for dinner tomorrow. I wanna go out and eat with together with my friends.

I'm like being trapped at home.

Spotted quite a few pretty clothes online but currently have to control myself and not to spend so much. Control control. Keke.

Now hide under my blanket  and watch local drama The dreammaker. Hehehe. But must remind myself to revise DAV practical test. Kekeke. I'm afraid that I can't do well tomorrow. Huhuhu~ hwaiting^^

I'm not upset of anything anymore, just wanna be happy and continue my life. Although my parents are still very strict about controlling me. Hais. Nevermind. Forget about it.

All I want is to be with you happily. Really happy that I have many great memories together. Keke. Hope we will still have more great memories together^^v

Not happy post 1.

As you can see the title is Not Happy Post 1. Means there will be part 2 or more. :/ LOL. Is my post too bored because there are not many happy post at all. LOL

Currently infinite just release their new single album and my timeline is kena flood by all their tweets. A bit don't know what to do and just scroll and scroll. Not really a big fan of Infinite but I'm happy to listen to their songs.

I'm sooooo bored till I come and blog. Today was not a good day might be something affect my mood. Somehow hurt someone by not knowing it till it happen on me. So must be happy at all times. But just that I feel less interest in going to twitter or anywhere. I feel like my relatives and my siblings or even my parents are looking at what I am doing in my daily life.

Is okay for my close friends to know but not them. I don't know why I have all these feeling that I dislike them to know what I'm thinking and what I'm doing. People say treat parents like friends. But NO. Their thinking is so neagtively till I'm so afraid to get closer anymore.

Even going out they can say all the negatives things out like kena rob kena snatch phone kena all these and that. So scaryyyyyy!!! Is like why must you all keep insist that there is something bad happen everyday? In a good 2ay say concern me lah, but to me this is not a concern at all.

Just let me free please..... envy those people can go overseas with friends. Hais.

Living in fear

This week really not a very good week for me. Many things happen so suddenly and I'm can't handle it well too. Just wanna tell myself to be strong and keep all the good memories inside my heart and forever. Is it my fault to have a diary at kept it at home? Why can't I have my own diary and must let my parents know about it? Not private anymore......

I feel so not safe even at home. I feel that I'm just acting as if I'm happy and to be a good person at home. Does it mean I have to continue to act until I die? Sometimes I don't know why I think that why I can't be myself at home. My parents check on me every single day, every single things that I do. Why can't I be a lady that can go out anytime I want and no curfew at all. Really envy those young adults and teenages that they can go out till late night do whatever they want, nobody control.

When they want someone to control them, nobody control. Where my case is I don't want anyone to control and they continue control me till so tight that I feel that I'm like a robot. Means like I'm not in my own world at all.

Things change. Everything change. I have not talk to my sister for days or maybe should say going to 1 week. Since she doesn't want to talk to me then is okay. Living in this house really make me never had a good sleep and everyday have to live in fear that anytime my parents will quarrel or have conflicts among each other or with me...

Trying to be happy......... but seems like it is so difficult to do it 

O.M.G

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE MANAGE TO BUY THE TICKETS! Really must thanks Aijia and Xiao Amelia for overnight queuing for us and we manage to get! Of cause we manage to sit together ^^v Maybe this is the first ever concert that all 6 of us going together. Of cause additional fanBOY joining us too :P HAHAHA! Cool uh! I have a fanboy friend as well.

So on 6th July, we met quite early at around 10.10am at Yishun with Partner and XA. Then headed to Bishan and find AJ. All of us had not eaten yet but we are afraid that there might be queues around CSM. We almost walk the WHOLE entire mall. Seems like nothing much also. LOL

Had astons for our brunch around 12pm plus and after lunch, Oppa came and find us! HE SHOCK MEEEEEE! ARGH! Almost lost 10 years life time. LOL! I shout damn loud. Didn't know he reached already :X Because I didn't check my phone. HAHAHAHA!!!

We walked around and doing nothing but just simply shopping around and he had to head to work. Went to mac and try DURIAN MACFLURRY! OMG OMG OMG! Somehow quite nice but I like the cornflake or Idk what is that, is soooo freaking nice. Hehe Thanks Partner for treating me ^^ There is a story behind why she treat me ice cream. LOL! I'm so sorry~

AJ went to her relative wedding and left 3 of us. So we went up slack sit down and plyay WU GUI WU GUI TIAO and HEART ATTACK and JIE LONG game. We're a bit childish but don't care uh! We are really damn freaking BORED!

After that we walk around and search for queues in the mall but DON'T HAVE!! So we decided to head out and eat JIAN DAO JIAN CURRY RICE!!! IS SO FREAKING AWESOME after 7-8months later I went back there and eat. Hehehe Cheap and nice and a bit spicy but still awesome! FULL FULL FULL.

Went back to CSM and print meClub 10% discount for the ticket. Wasted $1 just to print the paper and make me so stress about thinking where to find printer and how to print the paper. IS LIKE ARGH! But after that I manage to think of a way to print. There is a great reason why I love my Samsung phone so much! Hehehehe.

Though my phone battery nowadays a bit sot sot, but hope no problem and hope don't spoil also lah. HAHAHA. Because I love my phone so much till I don't wanna change already. Heheh still got 1 year a few months later.

MORNING

Is Thursday todayyyyyy!!!! Is time to bee doh bee doh ^^/ HAPPY HAPPY BEE DOH DAYYYYY!!!

Now currently alone in south canteen waiting for time to pass and waiting for BC! Don't dare to face up because there are a lot of people in front of me. LOL.

Somehow I feel so refresh in the morning rrading blog and learning new things again. Should find 1 day go to the beach and relax. So long didn't sit down at the riverside and relax already. I wanna go there again.

Okay, I shall end here now. Hope today will be a better day.

I will be there.

MY DINNER OF THE DAYYYYYYYYY!!! *LOVE* !

Though I'm not smart, pretty, slim and tall. But this is me. 

Since Secondary school days where everything seems to be like a simple and every time I think back now, I wondering. Yes, is quite hurtful when the person give in all the feeling into a friendship and end up the other party didn't treat it the same way too. Is so hurtful that it can happen by crying. To me, is not only 1 case is more than a few cases that I always feel that I always have no friends at all in the world.

As time pass by, I will tend to move away from all these. But somehow I really miss the days together with you, almost every outing we will go pizza hut and had our favourite hawaiian pizza and I bring you to all the places that we didn't went before. Did some things that we shouldn't do and end up it happened. Buy same kind of shirt, bag and many other stuffs. Though you don't like to have exactly the same things and I will try to buy some things different from you. Going back home by walking in a big round or going to your house and stay for awhile. I forget when we kinda go different way. Maybe is me who walk away from what it changed. I cried quite a few times. Because cherish a friend and treating a friend super good end up like this. Last year of our secondary school life, though we didn't really spend a lot of time together anymore like how we used to be as you went to work and lesser time we can meet up often. It has been years since we go out often and is like after secondary school, we went to different class in ITE. You get to know a better friend to accompany you till now, happy to know you're doing a great job in studies since secondary school till now. I will always remember how we used to be so close together and shared a lot things together. I wish we can go out again soon. Your birthday is coming it means we have not been meeting each other for 1 year. Just wanna say, really thanks for being my 5 years classmates and knowing each other. Sui rang wo men dou zou bu tong de fang xiang le, ye xi wang ni guo de hao.

During ITE days, OPR is the only friend I can really talk to till now. During a period of time, when results are out and she decided to leave ITE and go to Poly, that was the time I'm so upset and feeling so down. I can't imagine she can't accompany me anymore. She is like very close friend that I can really rely on. Things have to change, I have to alone and independent. It looks like no more support anymore. I'm afraid she is not going to contact me anymore, as she might be busy with her new life in poly. And is like I can't really find another friend, things changed so much. Everything is just so different, I didn't really go well, I'm just all alone. Alone going to have breakfast every morning. Alone going to take a long bus ride to Tampines from Yishun. Alone and alone and alone. Though I have the other two friends, but I just can't really clique well. No matter how hard I try, is just a gap there. The gap is can't be smaller but it getting bigger and bigger. And I'm so call alone for 1.5 years. I told myself, I need to go Poly. Is a must to go Poly and I can find OPR again. But really thankful that she still contact me no matter how busy she is. I still remember I had a toughest time when someone told me a phrase that really hurt my heart. I called OPR and we met in MRT Station. I saw her, we chat and end up I cried. I cry for very long, is just so hurtful till I can't. I treat my friend as a friend, end up this is what I get. Really hurtful and painful inside. Lucky I have you OPR! Thanks for being my side till now. Hope all the best for your last year in Poly. I know you're a smart kid you can do it and strive till the end.

As for Ohbasan, though we seldom chat now. But still she is another great friend I had since secondary till now. I cried when she is going to USA, but is a fact that I or we can't change it. She had face a lot of difficulties. But no matter how hard it is, I will do my best for all my close friends. Though I seems to know who is this and that, but the most I have is only 3-5 friends that I will contact. Now knowing another great friend in Poly as well for a year plus, though we are somehow crazy and like to talk nonsense but just really happy to know each other. As we know things happen in between, but is over. Things will slowly back to the original place.

Though I treat them as friend, but I think they have better friends that they can contact with. But is okay, as long as we contact, I'm fine. I can't expect more right? They have their own friends too. Though I'm not in their top priority but as long as they need a listener ear, I will be there for them. Don't expect too much. Ye xu wo hen rong yi bei qi fu, dan wo bu zhi dao yao zhen me yao zhen me ban. Zhi hao zhe yang.

I don't ever want to lose any more friends. I can't take it. My heart is weak. I cannot forget a person like you...........

AWESOME. STRESS. HAPPY. UNHAPPY

Weeee~ is a start of a new week after break for 2 weeks. Somehow there is good and bad about holidays. I still prefer no holidays before exams. In case I forget to do my work and forget what teacher has taught me. LOL I know I'm kinda feel a bit lousy like that. LOL

After reading shine koh blog, got the urge to blog too. I don't know why I found that I love the way she blog. Is really damn nice and feel so great after reading. After the drama show, I get to know that she is a blogger and become part of actress.

She is really a good blogger that can motivate me to continue read and of cause feel better as well. Hmmm somehow I know the way I blog is really super lousy but bear with it. LOL.

Next few weeks, I will have a few presentation to do. Need to really chiong and have to tell myself not to slack any longer in order to maintain my study grades. But I don't think can :( what to do. I have to motivate myself!!!!! In order to get what I want, I need to work hard for it. And work even harder.

I know all the thoughts I have are all so negative thinking.. I need someone to tell me more positive stuffs. I need to be more positive and don't think too negatively anymore.

Somehow I'm quite angry of something but I know no matter what, I don't wanna care anymore. Please don't act as if you really know me and say back things behind my back. If you really do it, I only can say, please get lost and stop all these.

Is time to get ready for bed. Sometimes think that somethings I really wish to aim for but it seems so far to achieve(?) it.